Chapter 6 – In the shadow of the Martini
When Derk meets Trientje, he was stung. The stories about their courting are few but this recurring theme was always prominent; my Dad ‘played the field’ with all the girls he met. Sometimes he had two dates in one evening. On one occasion while biking from the direction of Delfzijl to Groningen [1] with a date, he met another girl and promptly dropped this date and started with the other. My mother always said she had to put him ‘in his place’ on more than one occasion. One time she called it quits; and so my Dad had to go to where she worked and beg her to take him back. She had told him to make up his mind: ‘Do you want me or not, there are plenty of other boys!!’ ‘Vrijen’ (smooching) was carried on in the local park ‘Het Sterrebos’ close to the Bare Straat (or Barestraat) along the Here Weg (Hereweg). Many a young couple could be found there showing their affection for each other. In those days no-one owned a car and everything was done by bike or walking.
My mother’s spirited nature was well evident at this time already, and the above story was always repeated with great drama by both my Mom and Dad when they would remember this and share it with us children. In fact whenever these stories were told there would be a free flow of good ‘Grunning’s’ street language between the two of them. Sometimes, we as kids would be ashamed about this rudeness of tongue and speech to each other, but we came to realize later that this was nothing more than their continuous way of courting each other. My Dad, with his teasing talk and questions and my Mother with her dramatic speech, body movements and showings of ‘pure disgust’ with that man! ‘he is good for nothing’ she would say, and then wink with her eyes, as if she thought I even half believed her.
The story is told about my dad’s brother Gerrit who had decided to have some fun with one of his friends. He had loaded in the baggage pack of his bike, a large bottle of gin that the two of them were going to consume later that night somewhere. My Mother had gotten wind of this and had surmised that this would probably lead to no good and got a hold of the bottle, poured out all the gin and refilled it with tap water. Since gin and water are both clear liquids no one could tell the difference. Well, did my uncle get a surprise that night.
Apparently, he was a bit spoiled (being the youngest) and always in trouble with father Jan. One time he had not come home in time so father Jan went out looking for him with a large stick ready to beat him should Gerrit be found. Anyway my Mom knew where he was so she ran around the block to intercept him and warn him of father Jan’s plans. Uncle Gerrit was quite a character in his young days. The report card that he took home in Grade 6 did not have any marks on it, but the teacher had noted this comment: ‘Fooling around is his true ambition’.
His brother Pieter was a different sort and did not cause too much trouble. He appeared to be a dreamer and never really liked being a baker. Whenever the boys went out together Derk and Gerrit would look at the girls, but Piet would admire the bridges over the canals.
Anyway these two, Trientje and Derk, met and it got to be serious. However my mother soon discovered that mother Titia Schuurman also was a bit touchy herself and I’m not sure whether this was evident from the start but my mother did not endear herself immediately to the Schuurman family. The real problem was highlighted at the time before the wedding and shortly thereafter.
in the Bakery (notice the gym rings)
At the Schuurman bakery in the Barestraat the boys worked hard (and exercised) with father Jan to build up the bakery. Stories are told as to how mother Titia stood up to officials and others who gave father Jan a hard time. She was not afraid to grab a knife and tell them to get lost or else she would use it gladly.
The business was going quite well and although the thirties were tough for some people, the Schuurman’s prospered. It was father Jan’s dream that all his three boys would own their own bakeries and the Schuurman’s would have a large part of the bakery business in Groningen.
By the time 1938 rolled around a new section of town had been added just west of the Barestraat and father Jan purchased a bakery and store to set his son Derk up in business because wedding plans had been announced for Sept.1, 1938. [2]
His sister Antje had married the year before and was living in Helpman, a small village just south of Groningen. She had married a Gerard Suers who had a produce (store) business. Now it was Derk and Trientje’s turn. Mother Titia Schuurman had decided that it would be improper for Trientje to wear a white wedding gown, (her oldest daughter Antje had worn one) so Trientje should have a dark navy coloured gown. And here is where a lot of resentment started up between the new bride and her mother-in-law. Why mother Titia insisted on this mode of dress is not clear. It could be that she considered her new daughter-in-law to be a bit below her son’s family standing? and wanted to make in this way her disapproval known, or was she following the fashion of the day? My mother never really told us why this happened but resented it always as a put-down. My own feeling is that this was probably the style in those days and for variance sake mother Titia had decided to be in style, much to the dislike of her new daughter-in-law. I think there was a touch of that and the disapproval which turned up later in ‘issues’. Mother Titia was a strong headed person. My dad however never mentioned this incident and I believe he did not want to make an issue of this with his parents.
Anyway they were married. First at the City Hall. It was Wednesday and the wedding license fee and ceremony was ‘free’. Then on to church for a church wedding ceremony. It was told that they rode in a coach drawn by two horses, the usual style for that day, and that my Dad leaned out of the window and yelled at some of the girls he had known on the way to the City Hall.
The text for the wedding as chosen by the minister was from Book of Proverbs chapter 16 verse 9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (“Het hart der mensen overdenkt zijnen weg, maar de HERE bestiert zijn gang.”) This text was written on a leather bookmark that my Dad used to mark his place in the Bible he read at mealtimes. I can still see him open the Bible take the bookmark out and hold it in his one hand and then when he was done reading replacing it in the page before closing the Bible. It did not occur to me until I was at least seven or eight that this was mom and dad’s wedding text because I asked him what it was and he told me. It seemed a strange text to me as its meaning at that time escaped me completely.
They moved into 123 Parkweg, corner Hoornsediep [3], right by the Park-burg ‘bridge’ over the Noord-Willems Canal. My Dad and his two brothers had already started the business and it was just a matter for the bride to move in. This was a good location and a lot of traffic passed that way out of the city. Also whole new subdivisions (Grunobuurt) were added to that part of Groningen and more were built well into the 1950s & 60s as newer housing initiatives started further south and west. The boys worked hard in building up the business and it was starting to be successful.
One of the essential factors of that success was that they were able to get to the public with their goods before anyone else. Competition was fierce in those prewar days and not always appreciated by the larger establishments.
Later that September in 1938 Chamberlain, the English prime minister, announced the now famous ‘Munich’ non-aggression pact with Hitler boasting: ”This is the second time there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honour. I believe it is peace for our time.” Winston Churchill warns of the futility of appeasing Adolf Hitler: “The belief that security can be obtained by throwing a small state (Sudetenland – Slovenia) to the wolves is a fatal delusion.” (Hitler had demanded that he be allowed to take over Sudetenland. Chamberlain agreed not to intervene so that “we may have peace”)
JS January 10, 2024
[1] Delfzijl: A harbour town on the Dollard Bay, about 30 KM NE of the city. [2] Opa Jan & Oma Titia Schuurman-Grasdijk were also married on September 1. (1910) Co-incident? Or family pressure? [3] This was actual an extension of a river that flowed through the province of ‘Drente’ to the North Sea called de ‘Drentse A’.
On the Road 